Nothing much happening around here. I’ve still got a touch of the bug that hit everyone else in the house before it got to me. Just when I thought I was home safe, it knocked me up the side of the head. You could say my flu bug is today’s main course, with a side-order of the blues, just in case the bug itself (nasty little thing) isn’t enough to keep me humble, or off the streets minding my own beeswax–or whatever it’s purpose in rearing its ugly little head and messin’ with my poor tired bod.
My grandma (who was a meanie, big time, but that’s another story), used to tell my mom when she’d ask for a loan, “You’re going to nickel and dime me to death.” Well, life has about done that to me, snatching a nickel worth’s of energy here, a dime’s share of a good night’s sleep–or even the simple ability to indulge in a somewhat pleasant childhood memory without its being tainted by the unholy abuse, the bastard.
I never know when I feel lousy how much of it is due to the emotional toll survival has taken on my health, or if the culprit is my actual physical disability–chronic fatigue. Epstein-Barr Syndrome, if you want to get technical. I stopped calling it by its proper name about eight years ago when my dad used to say things like, “Hey, what’s that thingamajig you have wrong with you? You know, that Rosanne Barr Jewish fatigue thing?” I’m sure he knew good and well the name of it, but loved to razz me about it. Probably because during the years between seven and fifteen, when I was not allowed any contact with him, I was raised by a stepdad who belonged (professed to belong to) a religion which had strict kosher dietary rules. Dad thought this hilarious, and during my (so-called) adult life in the years before his death, would tease me about my Jewish ways.
I’m not sure why I’m rambling like this, but speaking of Rosanne Barr (which I think I was not too long ago), watching the earlier episodes of her sitcom (but only the first few years, it stunk after that) is one of the things I do to stay grounded. (Isn’t she a multiple, by the way?) I’d be interested in hearing what you do, if you’re a multiple, to ground yourself. (And I don’t mean ordering yourself to your room— okay bad joke!) Seriously, what have you found works best for you when you’re experiencing–or about to experience–a DID “episode”?