Time out

I’m giving myself a time out of sorts, a time out from blogging, housework, wearing makeup, and anything else I do on a regular basis. Tomorrow I go in for an ultrasound to see if a gall bladder operation is in order.

From what I’ve heard and read on the subject, it’s not uncommon for a multiple to dread anything having to do with doctors. Speaking for myself, any kind of an examination feels intrusive. Add to that the fact that doctors are authority figures, and I kind of space out during my appointments. The hardest part, in a sense, is getting to the point of actually making the appointment in the first place. As a child I learned to dissociate from my body and so, for all of my adult life, I’ve not been in touch with what’s going on with my physical self. (I’d rather not even admit to having a body!) There has to be an awful lot of pain or discomfort for me to even think about visiting the doc.

Some things can’t be postponed forever; my gall bladder problems (or appendix, if it turns out to be that instead) is one of those things that isn’t going to get better by itself. So tomorrow the ultrasound. Today, whether or not I like it, I’m taking to my bed. I plan to drink hot tea (and how wonderful that it’s cooled off enough to want to drink something hot!), nibble on gummy bears, watch old movies and, if I can get my parts cooperation, read a good mystery.

Today I’m taking a time out from the usual routine . . . and as much as it causes me to fret to think of all I must leave undone (for instance, I wanted to finish something I was working on for this blog), the reality is that one day won’t make much of a difference. I just need to get through the next 24 hours as pain free as possible. Somehow, I’ve graced myself with permission to do so, and it feels good to extend kindness to myself.



3 thoughts on “Time out

  1. Keepers are glad that you are doing what you need to do by curling up in bed with gummy bears and old movies. This is what keepers love to do. The problem is that we like it so much we can do it too often and for too long.

    John and keepers will hold you in our thoughts and in our prayers while you are dealing with doctors. Doctors are very difficult for any multiple. Please know that John and keepers care about you.

    peace and blessings


  2. When I walk into the office I completely forget what I need to tell him. I write it down before I go and hand the doc a piece of paper with the issue on it. He knows I have DID and he’s great with us. Handing him a piece of paper with the details on it doesn’t even phase him. He knows that when I walk in there my head goes blank. No matter how much inner prep work I do the situation can change in the blink of an eye. The paper is my back up. I’m lucky in that I can bring Captain to all my appointments..doc, dentist, whatever. so he’s a great help in keeping me grounded and helping me get home safely.

    I personally haven’t done much of anything in 2 days. I have been to 2 blogs today, period. I’m just not getting on the net to read.


  3. Hey, good for you! Enjoy your day of rest. đŸ˜€
    A good book, good movie, good gummy bears, and good tea (my personal favorite for relaxing is Tention Tamer Tea)

    I hope your day is as restful, delightful, and pain free as you desire it to be.

    I think Austin has a great idea in writing stuff down. Please let us know how the appointment goes (when you are up to blogging again)


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