Sometimes I think I focus too much on the, well for lack of a better term, lighter side of DID. You know, the witty little jokes, the “boy-would-ya-believe-the-stupid-thing-I-just-did?” type of comments. As if my multiplicity is no more than a quirky inconvenience, or a silly ongoing episode of I Love Lucy screwball comedy.

More than likely I do this to spare everyone reading my blog the messiness of my multiplicity. Who wants to hear whining all the time? Or a never-ending recounting of my emotional angst?

But even as I write these words I know that’s not the whole story. I know that most of my attempts at keeping things light is mere distraction, for myself. It’s a handy means of evading the darker side of DID, a definite denial of how this “disorder” impacts every facet of my daily life.

So I’m not so much protecting others from the nasty realities of being a multiple–I’m holding out (by hiding my truth) to protect myself from what I don’t want to admit to. And having said this much, I’m going back into hiding now. I just don’t care to deal with any more DID issues today.


(Oh what a silly goose I am.)

One thought on “Musings

  1. Yeah, I can’t even remember what it was now, but I caught myself laughing out loud at my silly self the other day. I stopped and I thought, it’s good to be able to laugh and take myself a little lighter. You know, Austin is always cracking me up. It’s amazing the sense of humor we can still have, isn’t it? We’re just amazing, period! 😉 (Of course, I’m not trying to put myself in the DID club or anything like that–I have a dissociative disorder but it’s no where near as rich and complicated as DID.)

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