I don’t want this blog to turn into a griping ground, but in connection with those who have encouraged me to reach out for help, I need to say something.
Please consider your offer of encouragement seriously before proffering it. As mentioned in my last post, asking for or accepting help does not come easily to me. While I deeply appreciate all offers coming my way, responding to cajoling words hurts me on some deep level. I don’t do so lightly. What I mean is, if you assure me over and over that you are there for me, that you will listen and do what you can to help—even if all you can do is listen—please mean it. Please say what you mean and mean what you say. You see, baring my soul is done with such trepidation that once it’s done I feel almost violated. If after having spilled my guts you fail to respond, that really messes with my head. I wouldn’t have confided in you without your encouragement; now that I have and you brush it off, where does that leave me?
I like to think I’m fairly stable. I’m not going to slit my wrists if you treat me in such an inconsiderate manner. Next time I’m nearly lured into making myself vulnerable, I’ll probably not be able to do so. But I won’t harm myself over it. There may be others in cyberspace, though, who are just unstable enough that such a rejection would push them over the edge. I know it’s easy sometimes to get caught up in the emotional drama of a cyber buddy’s blog, and impulsively reach out with all the good intentions in the world. Some people, I’ve discovered, are not good at follow through. Once the initial warm feeling of sympathy mingled with a desire to help have faded, they lose interest. Perhaps even forget they’d every intention of sending a bolstering word to that particular individual.
Let’s all try to perfect the art of follow through, if only because it’s impossible to determine who among us might be so fragile as to be devestated beyond repair by the careless promises and words of others.
(Let’s not be like the blind leading the blind!)